Breaking The Cycle: Your Role in The Pattern

Too many men unknowingly continue patterns they learned as boys — defensive habits, emotional withdrawal, or control that once helped them survive but now block intimacy. These patterns are not personal failures. They are inherited strategies — adaptive in the past, but limiting today.

In Relational Life Therapy, we bring these patterns to light. I work with men who are ready to step into truth, not as blame, but as responsibility, and begin to break the cycle.

The Cycle You Inherited

The patterns you carry likely didn’t start with you. Many men grew up in homes where emotions were minimized, anger was modeled as strength, and vulnerability was seen as weakness. These survival strategies helped back then — but today, they quietly sabotage connection.

Understanding the Pattern

You come home late. She’s cold. You shut down. She escalates. You avoid. She accuses. You feel powerless.
That’s the pattern.
We all have them.
The key is to step out of the trance and notice: What role do I keep playing in this dance?

The Power of Awareness

With awareness comes choice. Once you see your role in the pattern, you’re no longer stuck.
You gain the power to shift, not to be perfect, but to grow.
To pause, to name the feeling, and to choose connection instead of reaction.

Coaching Tips to Reflect On

• Where do you go on autopilot in your relationships?
• What does your “go-to” move look like under pressure—shutting down, defending, fixing, avoiding?
• What part of that strategy might have helped you as a boy—but is hurting you as a man?
• What’s one moment from this week where you could have chosen a different step?

“You can’t shift a relationship dynamic if you’re not aware of the part you’re playing.”
— Terry Real

Building Stronger Men, Starting in Charlotte, North Carolina

If you’re ready to break old patterns and reclaim your strength, you’re not alone.

I help men in Charlotte — and across North Carolina and South Carolina — reconnect with their true power, build stronger relationships, and lead more fulfilling lives.

While I’m based in Charlotte, North Carolina, I also work with men across North Carolina, South Carolina, and offer virtual coaching for men throughout the United States